This week has been a tough one. A family member lost her mom and a friend lost his father in law. Followed by the national news of the helicopter crash which took the life of Kobe Bryant and his daughter. I’m not a huge basketball fan, nor was I specifically a fan of his, but his death, at the same age as me, and with his daughter, and so many other families, all going to an event which had such a focus on their children, really struck a chord with me. It certainly made me remember that life is so fleeting, and some things are far more important than others. And it has caused me to reflect on my own losses in the last few years, and what they have meant to me.
I realized that one of the driving reasons I started this blog was to put in writing all the stories about our new home and farm that I can’t share with my mom anymore. I miss being able to talk to her daily and share stories of my life, how proud I am of my step-kids and my husband, how happy I am in my job. We used to talk on my way home each day, and I could share everything with her, even though I was two states away. As Alzheimer’s took her memory and focus, that became difficult, and even before her death, I mourned the loss of those conversations. Now, with her gone, I miss being able to share all that we’re doing with her.
She would have been thrilled to hear all about how we have a daughter-in-law now, and how beautiful the wedding was. She would be so happy to know that we have such a fantastic relationship with the kids grandparents, their mom and step-dad, and that it’s like one extended family. My mom would probably be grateful knowing that their grandmother treats me like her own daughter, and has comforted since I lost her. And, I know she would be happy to hear how my relationship with the kids has grown.
I know my mom would have loved meeting Mia, and getting to hear all about her antics. She would have thought we were nuts to get chickens, but would have loved seeing photos of them and hearing all the stories about them. She would love to hear about our orchard, the garden, all our plans. She would think it was great that I am learning to drive the tractor, and all the things I’m doing around here with Mike. She’d be proud, if not a little worried, because after all, she’s my mom.
I talk each day with my dad, and I share all these stories with him, and he has many of the same reactions. He thinks we’re a little crazy, and laughs at my stories about Mia, how she tries to play with the chickens and just wants one of the animals here to play with her. He worries too, because he’s my dad. And I’m so grateful for all the time I have left to talk with him.
This week has also made me reflect on when Mike was in the hospital, after his cardiac arrest. How we realized afterward just how precious and special life is, what is really important and not to sweat the small stuff. It’s made me miss the kitties we said goodbye to in the last few years, who were always a constant in the first years of our marriage. They were special too, and when we lost them, the house had a hollow feeling for a long time.
It’s made me appreciate again, all that I have right in front of me. My amazing husband. Our kids, and now daughter-in-law. Our funny puppy and our silly, demanding bird. The way the chickens are guaranteed to come running if they think they will get treats. They are better recall trained than any of the dogs! The beauty of the life we’re building here. And it’s made me realise just how quickly it can all end, and to enjoy it while we have it. Not to put things off for another day, but to do them now, say them now, and enjoy them now.
So I resolved today to start doing just that. Sharing this blog, rather than just writing it for me. Remembering to tell my family I love them. Doing things I want to do, now, instead of putting them off for a later that isn’t guaranteed. And appreciating all the wonderful things each day, taking some time to just stop, and be grateful.
Farm Fresh Adventures 